When Brian and I got married, we obviously had to get used to living with each other. Being the clean freak I am, I went through our whole apartment every morning and straightened up anything out of place. This included Brian's Bible he left out after leaving for work. I didn't mind putting it back in his nightstand, but he didn't understand why I had to. In his mind, there was nothing wrong with leaving it on the table. But to me, everything should be put in it's place. I admit I got my way because now our Bibles are kept in our nightstands where they belong and he understands if his things are left out, I will put them away.
Recently, I read an article called Stop Being a Butthole Wife (awesome title by the way). It has inspired me to write about my own experiences serving my husband. In her article, this wife describes her nagging attitude towards her husband who she constantly had to clean up after. Then, when her husband passed away, she realized how ridiculous her behavior was. I was almost in tears while reading this, because she speaks so much truth. Why are we as wives so easily annoyed by a few clothes laying on the floor or a few dishes left in the sink?
Before I go on, I have to acknowledge I am in a unique position because I don't have a full time job and my husband is not a messy guy. The only times I have to clean up after him are picking up a pair of shorts off the floor or cleaning his dishes. I'm also an alien because I truly enjoy housework. I'm serious. I love it. My husband works his butt off all day to provide for us, so when he gets home, our house is immaculate, his laundry is done and put away, and there is a home cooked meal ready for him every night. He shouldn't have to lift a finger. I absolutely love serving him, because I know if I really needed him, he would help me without complaining.
 |
I'm not trying to depict ours as a perfect relationship, because, of course, we have our disagreements. I simply want to share my experience, because I see so many people struggle in their relationships because they don't want to serve one another. I know you're tired. I know you're overwhelmed. But what if instead of nagging your spouse the next time you have to clean up after them, you simply complete the task in silence, even if you're cursing them in your head.
Try to think about a positive aspect of this scenario. You actually have the ability to do this for them. You're able to take care of the person you love in this way. They might even notice you've done all that work and not complained once. It may take a few times for them to acknowledge it, but think about how grateful they will be and how this could positively affect your relationship.
God intended husbands and wives to serve one another. It has to be give and take. I'd encourage you to consider all your spouse does for you. Tell them how thankful you are and strive to serve them without complaining. This would also be a great example for your children. Growing up, my mom never complained about having to do housework or clean up after me, my sister, or my dad. She did it in love and joy. Watching her serve our family this way and my dad's grateful reactions made it easy for me to step into my role as a housewife. My mom kept up with the house, cooking and cleaning with two kids, so I know it can be done.
I was specifically touched by the woman who wrote the article above, because she actually lost her husband. This could happen to any of us at any time. The work has to be done and you can either complain or choose to be joyful and thankful. By simply shifting your attitude to one of joy that you're able to serve your spouse, imagine how much less stress you'll put on yourself!
Sometimes it's easier said than done, but what do you have to lose? Just try and see how your relationships with your spouse and children improve, creating a healthier, happier home life.
No comments:
Post a Comment