"You're Too Skinny and Pale"

I'm sharing these experiences for anyone who has struggled with low self-esteem and body image issues.  I've dealt with both my whole life.  I knew I was different from a very young age.  I remember hearing my pediatrician tell my Mom I was in the 5th percentile for weight.  I've been underweight my entire life and people seem to think that gives them the right to judge me.  

Being skinny comes with many different pros and cons than someone who is overweight.  But in my experience, comments from people about my body can hurt just as much as things said to someone who struggles with weighing too much.  It all boils down to someone saying you don’t fit their idea of what a body should look like and you should do something to change yourself into the world’s view of what is attractive.
  
I will never forget sitting on the bus in 9th grade and a boy I thought was my friend sat next to me and asked “Are you anorexic?”.  I hid my shock and assured him I wasn’t, but it still hurt.  As if being too thin wasn’t enough, I’m also very pale and have red hair.  Once again, this contributed to my not fitting the ideal image of a beautiful woman, so I was asked by numerous family members and family friends “Why are you so pale?”. Or they would make comments like “You should go to the beach and get a tan.”
   
A few years ago I started hearing about something called a thigh gap.  I didn’t even know what this was until someone told me I had one.  It’s the space between your thighs when you put your knees together and some girls have it if they have thin legs like me.  Shortly after hearing about this, I saw several posts on social media talking about how some women were glad they didn’t have a thigh gap because it’s unattractive.

What all of these people didn’t realize is this is how God made me.  It took many years for me to accept this, and even embrace it.  I know I’m healthy.  I eat plenty so it’s not like I’m purposely trying to stay super thin.  I hate going to the beach because after 15 minutes I feel like I’m burning to death.  I don’t want a fake tan.  It would look ridiculous with my hair color.  I even tried dying my hair brown at one point because I was sick of being different.  But God made me a skinny, pale, red head, and that’s how I plan to stay.
  
I used to think I would never find a husband because I didn't look like the "ideal woman".  In 2011 I met a guy who prayed for a pale red headed wife.  We’ve been married for almost four years now and he has helped me see my beauty through God’s eyes.  Sometimes, I still struggle with feeling different.  But the older I get, the more I realize, tan or pale, thigh gap or no thigh gap, we are all beautiful in our own ways.  I hope more people realize this and stop judging others.

I believe no one should have anything negative to say about another person's body as long as they're healthy.  I'd like to see everyone building each other up with compliments rather than spewing the negative and hurtful things I've heard all my life.  If you've ever been judged in this way, I want you to know you are beautiful.  God made you just the way you are.  Do not let other people, who are probably insecure in their own skin, tear you down.  Let's come together and celebrate how unique God has made each and every one of us.

5 Reasons to Avoid Fad Traps

If you've been following me on this blog at all, you know I'm all about organizing, cleaning, and living a minimalist lifestyle.  Today I want to share with you the main reasons why you shouldn't give in to buying popular items you feel like you "just have to have".  Specifically, I'm talking about quilted purses, beanie babies, and anything that gets really popular and creates a need to collect.  

Remember when the Vera Bradley and other quilted purses were everywhere?  Now I only see them in second hand stores where they're sold for dirt cheap.  In the 90's I remember begging my parents to go to McDonald's (I shutter to think about what I ate back then!) so I could collect all the beanie babies because my sister and I thought we needed all of them.

The point is, just because something is super popular in the moment, doesn't mean you have to jump on the bandwagon.  Wait it out and you won't miss out on anything but hassle.  Below are the top 5 reasons you should avoid falling for the fad trap.

1. They Don't Last

This world is full of fleeting things that don't mean anything.  If you're trying to collect something just because everyone else is doing it, you've fallen for the fad trap.  Sure, it feels good in the moment, but in a few years the craze will disappear and you'll be stuck with a pile of junk.

2. They're a Waste of Money

Some of these items are extremely expensive.  Once the fad dies out, you've wasted a lot of hard earned money on something you don't even use anymore.

3. They Create Clutter

Once you've collected all these items, where are you going to store them?  They'll most likely end up in a closet collecting dust.  One of the best ways to make your life easier and simpler is to get rid of clutter you don't need and I'd bet those collector's items you got a few years ago would be a good place to start.

4. They're a Hassle to Get Rid of

Once you've decided to ditch the outdated items, what do you do with them?  There's no longer a demand for them so you're lucky to sell them at a garage sale for next to nothing.  At least you can feel good about donating them and maybe they'll go to someone in need.

5. They Distract You From the Important Things in Life

I'm not saying all material items are bad and you should get rid of all your possessions.  You can still enjoy hobbies and things you love.  But make sure it's something true to yourself.  Maybe instead of spending money on a fad item, buy a friend lunch.  

The very definition of  a fad is "an intense and widely shared enthusiasm for something, especially one that is short-lived and without basis in the object's qualities; a craze".  Instead of giving in, spend your time and money on your loved ones and things that really matter.  You'll feel lighter and happier knowing you've made the best decision for you and your family.

The Easiest Way to Clean Your Phone

I don't know about most people, but I'm very conscious of washing my hands.  Touching money is the worst for me because I know it's something many different people have touched.  I immediately wash my hands after handling money.  

An object most people are always touching is obviously their cell phones.  We take them with us to the bathroom, in the car, when we're shopping, just about everywhere.  They're inevitably full of germs at any given time.  Have you ever stopped to think maybe you should clean it?

I'll admit I didn't come up with this idea on my own.  My mom works at an antique mall and handles money all day while also touching her phone.  She shared with me the fastest, easiest, and safest way to clean your phone.  It only takes about a minute and because of the simple cleaning ingredient used, it won't damage your phone.

All you need is some rubbing alcohol and a cotton pad.  Dab a the cotton pad with a little alcohol and rub it all over your phone.  That's it!  The alcohol kills germs and dries in seconds.  My mom does this every night after a long day at work.  I wash mine about once a week.  

Maybe this sounds like something only a germophobe would do, but it's worth the short minute.  This practice will make your life healthier, cleaner, and you could even prevent yourself from getting sick!

The Mischievous Adventures of Joe Costa: Part 3

Grandma Mim and Grandpa Joe's Wedding Day February 28, 1951

These are the last stories my mom shared with me during our interview about my Grandpa Joe.  My mom said my Grandma Mim was 15 when she married Grandpa Joe (who was 19), so she grew up hearing these stories too.  When they were in their 60's a friend of my Grandpa's, who he hadn't seen in years and who was a part of many of these pranks, came to visit.  The friend started telling the same stories my Grandpa always did so my Grandma said "I guess those stories really are true."

The Soaping Incident

The next victim was a large burly truck driver who my Grandpa didn't like.  My mom doesn't remember why this guy was a target, but she said he wouldn't do this to someone unless he thought they deserved it.  One night, the man caught Grandpa Joe soaping his windows.  He shoved him around and made my Grandpa use cold water to clean the soap off in freezing weather.

After a while, to get him back, Grandpa Joe let the air out of the guy's truck tires.  The next day, he went to school and the man showed up asking the teacher for Joe Costa.  Thankfully, she wouldn't let the man take my Grandpa, saying he was on her watch and she had to protect him.  Back then, if you had a flat tire, you'd have to jack up the car, remove the tires, and take them somewhere to have the air put back in.  The guy ended up losing a day's work and Grandpa Joe got away with it.

The Rolling Drums

The town in Ohio where my Grandpa lived was near a big hill.  Grandpa Joe and his friends would fill a few 55 gallon drums with old paint cans, seal them up, and carry them to the top of the hill.  They would wait until dark and then roll the first one down.  They'd laugh as all the porch lights came on and people would come outside to see what was going on.  Then, they would wait for another hour or two and send the next one down. This continued through the night.

The Outhouse Snake

One of my Grandpa's jobs at his school was to get there early and build a fire in a coal stove to heat the schoolhouse.   One day, him and his friends got a dead snake and decided to use it to prank the girls.  The girl's outhouse had three holes, so they stretched the snake across them.  When the first bell rang for a break, all the girls rushed to the outhouse.  It didn't take long before they all ran out screaming.

The Night Crawler

There was a prissy girl in my Grandpa's class who had perfect hair, immaculate clothing, and everything was ironed, including her lunch bag.  My Grandpa and other boys in the class took a big fat night crawler and smashed it into the girl's school book on the page for the next day's lesson.  They watched as she struggled with the page, even licking her finger to try to get it open.  When she saw the worm, she ran outside and threw up.

I understand the things my Grandpa did in these stories were mean spirited.  I just want to point out I'm not trying to glorify them. I just don't want them to be forgotten because they have been passed through my family.  My Grandpa was a young kid when he did these things and when he grew up, he was a different man.  He loved his wife, my Grandma, and their five children dearly.  He loved me, my sister, and our cousins and now he's in heaven with Jesus.  The point of him sharing these with us was to entertain and there was always a moral at the end.  He would say "Make friends with your neighbors" because he knew what people are capable of if you get on their bad side.

The Costa Family 1997

The Mischievous Adventures of Joe Costa: Part 2

Yesterday I had the pleasure of interviewing my mom to get more details about my Grandpa Joe's childhood shenanigans.  She said he would lay awake at night thinking of pranks to pull on people in the town.  Here are a few more of his stories.

Bob on the left, Joe on the right.

The Two Old Maids

There were two old maids who lived next to each other in my Grandpa's neighborhood.  The ladies both had flower gardens, water pumps, and porch swings in front of their houses.  Grandpa Joe, his brother Bob, and some of their friends took advantage of the fact that these ladies didn't like each other.  

First, they removed one of the lady's porch swings and threw it over a hill.  Then, they took the other lady's swing and put it where the first one was.  They did the same thing with their water pump handles.  They also switched the flowers in their gardens.

It backfired on the kids because when the old maids began accusing each other, figured out it was neighborhood kids pulling pranks, and became great friends.

The Bumbling Sheriff

The next victim of Grandpa Joe's pranks was the town sheriff.  He was a heavy set, clumsy man who always had food all over the front of his shirt, wore ankle boots with one pant leg tucked in and one out, and only half of his shirt was tucked in.  There was an old widow in the town who owned the Welcome Inn and my Grandpa and his buddies would stir up some sort of trouble with her so she would call the sheriff.

This was happening in Ohio when it was freezing, so the sheriff would leave his car running and rush inside the Inn to take his report.  While inside, Grandpa Joe would jack the wheels of his car up, just barely off the ground.  They would hide in the tree above the car, trying desperately to hold back their laughter, and wait for the sheriff to come back out.

When he would try to leave, his car wouldn't move and the wheels would just spin, so he would have to go back inside and call a tow truck.   While he was inside, they would remove the jack so when the tow truck came, there would be nothing wrong with the car and the sheriff looked like a fool.

The Old Farmer

There was an old farmer in the town who had a chicken house.  My Grandpa and his friends would stuff burlap sacks into his chimney so his house would fill up with smoke.  They would also attach a string to the leg of a rooster and hide up in the trees while they waited for the farmer to fall asleep.  After a while, they would pull on the string and the rooster would go wild, stirring up all the chickens.  The farmer would wake up, grab his gun, and go outside to protect his animals from what he thought was a fox or wolf.

Once he went back inside, they would wait until the farmer was back to sleep, and do it all over again.  Sometimes, this would happen all night.  Eventually, he realized it was neighborhood kids and fired his gun up in the trees where they were hiding.  Thankfully, no one got hurt.

The Mischievous Adventures of Joe Costa: Part 1

I've decided to do something a little different with this post.  I grew up listening to stories about my Grandpa Joe's childhood pranks.  This is going to be the first of many stories he told my mom and her siblings, who then passed them down to me.  I was only 8 when he passed away, so I didn't get to hear these told by him, but they say he was a captivating story teller.  All these stories are true accounts from when my Grandpa grew up in the 1940's. 

The Leg Wrist Watch

I'm not sure how old my Grandpa was when this story took place, but I do know he attended a small school house in Ohio and his teacher was also the principal.  There was a mystery surrounding this stern woman who always wore a floor length black dress with silver buttons down the middle.  It came all the way up to her neck and the sleeves down to her wrists.  Her hair was always up in a tight bun.  Since she was the principle, she had to ring all the bells for the school to signal different times of the day.  The mystery was, how did she know what time to ring the bells?  The only way people told time back then was to wear a watch, but the students never saw her wearing one.

One day, my Grandpa was being his typical rowdy self.  He was disruptive to the class, so the teacher told him to leave the room and go stand in the hallway where she could see him.  He left the room, but after a while, he wandered around the school.  Soon he heard the teacher calling his name.  "Joe Costa, you get back here!  Where are you?"  My Grandpa hid underneath a spiral staircase as the teacher began walking up the steps.  He watched in shock as she lifted up her dress, revealing what he always called a "leg wrist watch" on her thigh.  He had solved the mystery!  She didn't see him as he ran back to the classroom.

He quickly scribbled something on the blackboard and returned to his seat.  Several moments later, the teacher returned and was horrified to discover what he had drawn.  She stared at the drawing of herself lifting her skirt and checking the time on her leg wrist watch as the rest of the students roared in laughter.

This is a drawing my husband, Brian, did for me so I could show something similar to what my Grandpa drew.

This was one of my favorite stories about my Grandpa.  There are many more I'll be sharing.  I feel these stories are priceless and should not be forgotten.

School Bus Horror Stories

Anyone who has ever ridden a school bus probably has similar stories to the ones I'm about to tell.  A school bus is the perfect setting for bullies to pick on weaker kids and bad situations to arise.  I personally have three horror stories about riding the school bus, all from a variety of times in my adolescence.

The first one occurred when I was in Kindergarten.  I remember I had to start riding the bus and ended up sitting near two boys who loved to terrorize me.  One would sit next to me and lay his head on my lap, while his friend sat behind me, poking me, pulling my hair, and saying awful things I didn't understand at the time.  From what I remember it was dirty things no little kid should even know about.  After several weeks of this torture, I finally told my parents.  They reported the harassment and I was questioned at school.  I'm guessing the boys got in trouble but I don't remember.  The one positive result was my Dad began driving me to school so I didn't have to endure the teasing any longer.

My next story is probably the worst because it wasn't a fellow student who was a bully, but the bus driver.  I was in 6th grade, which was no doubt the worst year of my life.  I was awkward looking and extremely shy, which made me the perfect target for bullies.  The bus driver was an intimidating heavy set woman with wild makeup, extremely long nails, and large, puffy hair.  The radio station she would play daily was the trashy, sex filled songs of the early 2000's.  I grew up very sheltered, so it was shocking for me to hear those lyrics every day.  To most kids I'm sure it wasn't a big deal, but it really bothered me.  I told my mom what I was hearing and she called the school and complained.  It wasn't my intention to get the bus driver in trouble, but that's what happened.  The next time I rode the bus, she called me and another very shy girl to the front.  She said someone is a tattle tale and now we can no longer listen to the radio station we always did.  Then, she made me and the other girl sit in the front near her.  I have no clue why she suspected either of us for telling, but she made a point to humiliate us.  After this incident, my mom started driving me to school.  Later, we found out this bus driver wasn't a woman at all, but a man dressing as one.

This last story isn't as horrific as it is uncomfortable.  The high school I went to was very overcrowded because they were in the process of building another one in the area that wasn't done yet.  So all the 9th and 10th graders who rode the bus were packed in like sardines.  Since I was one of the lucky kids towards the end of the route, I got to be the third person to a seat every morning.  I was a very tiny girl, but I was only able to fit one of my butt cheeks on that seat.  I had to hold the rest of my body up by holding the seat in front of me in order to withstand the twists and turns of the bus.  Not to mention the 40 pounds of books in my backpack I had to prevent from falling off my lap.  Needless to say, it was a huge relief to finally be able to drive myself junior year.

Those are my school bus horror stories.  I'd love to hear yours if you have any!