5 Reasons I Plan to Be Honest With My Kids About Santa

First of all, I realize this is a controversial topic and many people will say I'm a Grinch or Scrooge for having this opinion, but that's okay.  My goal isn't to make anyone feel bad for their Christmas traditions.  I simply want to throw out some ideas you may not have previously considered.

I do not have kids yet, but when they come along, I plan on telling them the truth about Santa.  I don't want them to believe in someone who isn't real, not because I'm trying to prevent them from having fun, but because I want to give them the respect and honesty they deserve.  I will encourage them to pretend if they want and of course to not say anything to other kids, but in our home, they will know the truth.  Below are the main reasons my children will know Santa isn't real.  

1. It Takes the Focus Off What's Important About Christmas

When I was growing up, it was all about the presents.  I was a selfish child and all I cared about was what I got.  I don't want that same mentality for my children.  I want them to know the true meaning of Christmas.  I want them to look forward to spending quality time with family and understand that we celebrate the birth of our savior on this day (even though Jesus' birthday isn't really Christmas).  We don't need to focus on a fictional character bringing us gifts.  Instead, I want it to be a celebration of love, joy, and togetherness.

2. Confusion and Disappointment are Inevitable When Kids Discover the Truth

Of course disappointment is a normal part of life, and I'd even say it's a necessary aspect of a healthy childhood.  But why create unnecessary confusion and disappointment?  I remember when I found my teeth in the kitchen cupboard when I was about six years old.  I brought them to my mom and asked her why they were still here.  "Why didn't the Tooth Fairy take them?"  It was then that she told me the truth about all the holiday characters.  I was okay with it after a while, but I was confused as to why I was lied to all those years, which leads me to my next point.

3. It Teaches Them Dishonesty Is Okay

When kids find out their parents have been lying to them all this time, they might start to question what else they've lied about.  Can they even trust their own parents?  This usually doesn't ruin relationships, but I don't think it's a risk worth taking.  I want my kids to be able to trust me with anything and that can only happen if they can rely on me and my husband to tell them the truth.  I want to strive to be a strong role model for my kids and a major aspect of that will be honesty.  

4. Santa Isn't a Good Role Model

In my home, my husband and I plan to give our kids unconditional love.  Even when they make mistakes, we will love them because our foundation is in Jesus.  Jesus loves everyone with an unconditional love we can't even fathom.  He is who I want my kids to focus on all year long.  I also plan on teaching my children healthy eating habits.  One of the main problems I have with Santa is his "naughty and nice list", which tells kids they better be good or they'll get coal in their stockings.  This depicts conditional love, which I feel is unhealthy.  Santa is also overweight and his eating habits are no where near what I'd consider healthy.  He also represents commercialism, which feels out of control these days.

5. Someone Who Doesn't Exist Gets Credit for Gifts

I admit, I'm not a big fan of gifts.  According to the love language test, gift receiving is second to last on my list.  I'm also a minimalist, so I don't want my home filled with clutter.  But I will get my kids presents, I just want them to know they're from me and their father.  Why would I want to give the credit to a fictional character?  I remember enjoying opening presents at home a lot more once I knew they were given with love from my parents.

Of course there are those of you reading this thinking I should just let all of this go and let my kids be kids and enjoy Santa.  But I want them to have a foundation of truth.  They can still use their imaginations and pretend if they want to, but they will have that choice.  I'm thankful my husband and I agree about all the points above and we plan to give our kids awesome Christmas memories.  They may not be super traditional, but we're not really traditional people for the most part, so that's okay.  Hopefully, this didn't upset anyone and maybe I've given you something to think about as we get closer to the long awaited Christmas day.

The Importance of Reading Food Labels

Reading food labels has become a natural habit for me ever since I became cognizant of everything I put into my body.  I've been striving to live a healthier lifestyle for years and I'm constantly fine tuning this process.  Today I want to highlight something I believe many people neglect when they're shopping for food.

If you go to any regular grocery store, pick an aisle, and randomly select a product, there is an extremely high probability you will find some horrifying ingredients on the package.  Processed foods are littered with vegetable oils, hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, and many other unnecessary artificial ingredients.  These ingredients end up in our bodies and wreak havoc on our systems, stripping us of our youth, beauty, and vitality.

I get so frustrated with the general population just accepting these foods.  This is a main reason heart disease, diabetes, and cancer are killing us.  Weight problems, acne, low energy, and wrinkles are also side effects of consuming these foods.

I have a very strong personal connection to this topic because of my body's reactions to processed foods.  You can read all about my struggle with artificial sweeteners in My Aspartame Horror Story.  I also broke out in a rash from eating a regular tortilla.  

We need to stop giving in to what is easy and really start taking a deeper look at how we grocery shop.  The science behind these dangerous foods is clear.  They are highly addictive though, and the companies behind them don't want you to get healthy because you will stop contributing to them making a ton of money.

I'm also horrified when I hear stories from friends and family about things their doctors have recommended.  Gatorade was recommended for replenishing electorates, but do you know what's actually in this popular drink?  It's basically artificial chemicals and sugar!  This is one of the worst things you could put into your body.  The doctor could have suggested coconut water, which is healthy and full of electorates.  I heard another doctor was recommending someone should eat donuts and any junk food they want in order to gain weight.  That is absolutely absurd.  There are so many healthy ways to put on weight, like protein smoothies, almond butter, tempeh, beans, avocado, etc.

Practical Tips For Grocery Shopping:

1. If you're shopping in a normal grocery store, try to avoid the central food sections if possible.  The outer areas are where the fresh produce is usually kept and all the processed foods are in the middle of the store.

2. Look for foods that have simple ingredients.  For example, I buy organic gluten-free pasta and the only ingredients are brown rice, rice bran, and water.  I get it at Native Sun but you can also buy it online from Vitacost.

3. Avoid packages that say "Naturally and Artificially Flavored".  These products will be full of chemicals.  Just look at the picture above.  The ingredients for these protein bars are not going to help anyone with their health goals.

4. Avoid packages with a long list of ingredients, especially if you can't pronounce many of them.  These foods are full of preservatives and there are most likely easy alternatives you can make yourself.

For example, the other day I saw a package for commercial taco seasoning.  It had vegetable oil in with the spices.  If you are not familiar with how damaging vegetable oils are to your health, please check out this article, Why You Should Never Eat Vegetable Oil or Margarine.  Taco seasoning is so easy to make yourself.  All you need are few spices you probably already have in your pantry and you can customize it to your tastes.  You'll have a clean taco seasoning without all the extra crap that's harmful to your body.  Here is an example of a delicious taco seasoning I've made:

Check out the full recipe on Gimme Some Oven.

There are so many different ways you can use easy and healthy alternatives to processed foods.  You will feel so much better after meals and avoid all the yucky side effects of artificial ingredients.  If you're looking for a great source for healthy ideas, check out Pinterest.  You can find delicious new recipes there every day!

Why You Should Switch to Soy Or Beeswax Candles

One of my favorite home decor items is candles.  I have them in almost every room of my home and love to burn them, especially now in the winter months.  As many of my readers know, I'm always discovering new ways to improve on my healthy lifestyle.  Sometimes it feels like nothing is safe anymore, because chemicals are in everything!  Unfortunately, candles are no exception.  

A few years ago, I had a candle from Wal-Mart burning in my apartment.  I rarely shop there so this was my first experience with a candle from this store.  Everything seemed fine at first, but after a few days, I noticed there was a black soot film throughout my apartment.  I realized it was from the candle!  When I cleaned that week, I found even more of the black film.  By then, the candle was almost burned out so I threw it away.

This inspired me to look into candles and what they are actually made of.  It turns out, they are full of chemicals.  Every time we burn commercial candles, those chemicals are being released into the air of our homes and we're breathing them in.  This is not conducive to a healthy lifestyle.  

In my research, I found a helpful article called Toxins in Candles: Sad, But True.  I'd encourage you to read it for yourself.  The author, Stephanie Langford, explains that "Paraffin is the major ingredient in most conventional candles and is a sludge waste product from the petroleum industry."  She goes on to say that some of the ingredients may cause cancer and affect the nervous system.  For me personally, the convenience of buying cheap candles is not worth putting myself and my family at risk.

Thankfully, there are healthy alternatives.  Soy and beeswax candles are made with clean ingredients that will not pollute the air in your home.  Yes, they can be more expensive, but it's worth it to not have to clean up soot and breathe in toxins.

Every time I go to Urban Outfitters I check out the apartment section and look at their new candles.  They always have a great selection of soy wax candles that always smell amazing.  Here are a few I've personally used.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Soy and beeswax candles are easy to find, you just have to look at the labels.  You can also find them online.  Do yourself and your family a favor, and switch to soy or beeswax today!

Foreshadowing of True Love

I've already shared the story of How I Married My 5th Grade Crush.  Today I want to share something that happened when Brian and I were first dating.  It was 2011 and we were falling more in love every day.  One night, I was babysitting alone and the kids were asleep.  I was watching a show on my phone and there was a party scene.  Suddenly, a memory I hadn't thought about in 11 years was triggered.
  
I was 10 years old at my 5th grade dance.  I was wearing a pink dress and my mom had let me shave my legs for the first time.  I cautiously approached the dance floor of the small Elementary school gymnasium.  I had sat out all the dancing up to this point, but decided to take advantage of the last song of the night.  All the kids were crowded around the center of the room close to the DJ on stage.  There were no couples dancing, just a large group of kids dancing together to some 90's hit.  I stood next to a few friends, trying to not stand out.

This is me, my mom, and my teacher, Miss Holley, at the 5th grade dance.

Brian and Miss Holley

  Across the crowd, I saw my crush surrounded by the popular boys from our class.  We had only spoken a few times the whole school year and he had always been nice to me, but he was more interested in hanging out with his friends.

In that moment, our eyes locked for what felt like a long time.  We stared at each other intensely, and then the moment was gone.  I remember feeling like that was a significant event, especially since this was around the end of Elementary school and big changes were happening.  As the years went on, I forgot all about this moment.  

Now, 15 years later, we are happily married.  Looking back on that memory always reminds me that God created us for each other.  I can't help but reflect on it, thinking about all we've been through, and knowing I was staring at my future that night.

My Easy Weekly Cleaning Routine

Something I feel is highly important and underrated is maintaining a clean home.  I've written several blogs about organization, but that is only half of the picture.  Once you have all your personal items organized, keeping your home clean is the other way to maintain a healthy and welcoming living space.

Having a bucket like this is helpful for storing all your cleaning supplies.

Today I'd like to share with you my easy cleaning routine.  I do this every Monday and I actually look forward to this day because it's when everything is fresh again.  You can use this as a loose guide and customize it to your own needs.  Maybe you can't dedicate an entire day to these tasks and that's okay.  You could do one every day until you finish.  Also, if you're someone who dreads cleaning, check out my blog, 5 Tips For Making Cleaning More Enjoyable.

Step One: Prepare the Spaces for Cleaning

The first thing we need to do is prepare each room for cleaning.  I usually remove all the towels hanging in the bathrooms and kitchen, move the rugs, and move anything else off the hard floors to prepare for vacuuming and mopping.  

Step Two: Start the Laundry

I do laundry about twice a week.  I do a dark load and a white load on Mondays and usually on Thursdays I'll have enough to do another dark load.  On Mondays I start with the dark load and make sure I wash all the dirty towels.  I'll also throw in blankets, pillow cases, and anything else I know needs a wash.  Laundry is an easy thing you can start early and work on other things while it's washing and drying.

Step Three: Tackle the Kitchen

At this point I will usually do any cooking I need to do for the week.  I'll make my breakfast smoothies, lunch, desserts, or snacks.  That way when I actually start cleaning, I can wipe up messes from the cooking I just did.  I use Young Living Thieves household cleaner to wipe down my kitchen counter tops.  It kills germs and smells amazing.  I wipe out the microwave, toaster, and anything else that looks like it needs to be cleaned.  All the crumbs land on the floor waiting to be vacuumed up later.  I also organize the pantry and refrigerator, throwing away any old food from the previous week.





Step Four:  Dust and Clean Glass Surfaces or Mirrors

I always dust each room with Endust next because once again, everything will fall to the floor and then it can be vacuumed up.  I also use Sprayway glass cleaner on any glass surfaces or mirrors, especially in the bathrooms where splashing may occur.

Step Five: Scrub the Bathrooms

I use rubber gloves for this step because I'm using products that contain bleach.  I scrub the bathroom sinks, toilets, and showers with an old white wash rag.  I use a toilet wand to scrub inside the toilets.  Make sure you move your toothbrushes and other items out of the way so they don't get sprayed with bleach.

Step Six: Check the Laundry

At this point I usually switch the dark load to the dryer and put the white load in with my bed sheets.  I think it's very important to wash your sheets every week because of all the sweat and dirt that accumulates.  I don't start the whites until I'm done with wiping down the kitchen counters, dusting, and scrubbing the bathrooms because I throw the cleaning rags in there as well.

Step Seven: Vacuum and Mop

For this step I vacuum all the hard floors first and then mop them.  That way, when I'm waiting for the floors to dry, I can vacuum the carpet and not worry about stepping on the wet floors.  The best mopping equipment in my opinion is a Libman mop and white vinegar.  Don't waste your money on expensive cleaning products because they really don't work as well as cheap white vinegar.  I got a gallon jug for less than $2 and you only need to pour a small amount into the kitchen sink with a little bit of warm water.  It disinfects your floors and dries super fast!  Just make sure to disinfect the sink with bleach when you're done, or just use a bucket.

Step Eight: Finish the Laundry and Put Everything Back in it's Place

I can usually fold and put away the darks at this time and switch the whites to the dryer.  I put all the rugs back and clean towels in the bathrooms.  Once the whites are dry, I fold them and make the bed with fresh sheets.  

Step Nine: Take Out the Trash

I make taking out the trash the last step because I usually have garbage from cooking, lint from the dryer, emptying the vacuum cleaner, and so on.  It feels good to put a fresh trash bag in at the end of the cleaning day.

If you make this a weekly habit your home will be easier to clean.  You'll maintain that level of cleanliness.  I thoroughly enjoy cleaning days so I tend to take my time and enjoy it.  But if I really needed to do it quickly, I could do this whole routine in about two hours.  That's not that much time per week to spend on making sure your home is spotless!

Rude Victoria's Secret Lady!

I decided to share this story because I'm curious if this has ever happened to anyone else.  This occurred several years ago, but it still baffles me that a sales lady would act this way.  

Before I get into the story, I just want to say I love Victoria's Secret and I don't think this reflects their company.  This was just one rude lady who was having a bad day for all I know.  I still shop there and love their merchandise.

Several years ago, my husband and I went to the Victoria's Secret at our local mall.  I had a free underwear coupon and wanted to look at sleep shorts.  We walked into the store and were greeted my a middle aged blonde woman who was fairly pleasant and asked if she could help us with anything.  I showed her the coupon and she directed us towards the display of free panties.  Normally the sales people will give you space to decide, but since it wasn't very busy she stayed and asked me what my size was.  I told her medium and she handed me the underwear.

My husband and I browsed a little in that same area and came across some sleep shorts I liked.  I was looking for an X-small because that's the size I always wear in their clothing.  There were no X-smalls except on the mannequin.  The lady who helped us before was in close proximity and came over.  I asked her if I could try on the shorts that were on the display mannequin because there were no other X-smalls out.  

She gave me the weirdest look and said in a snobby voice "Our sizes all run the same.  I just gave you a medium.  Why do you need an X-small?"  I was shocked.  For all she knew I was getting the underwear for a friend and the shorts for me.  But either way, who cares if I want to buy two different sizes?  She was supposed to assist us so we would buy from her store, but now she was acting like I was doing something wrong.  

Thinking back, maybe she just didn't want to take the shorts off the mannequin, but she still didn't have to be so rude.  I didn't know what to say so my husband spoke up and said "Those are the sizes she's always been.  What's the problem?"  He's very protective of me.

She looked at us like we were crazy and continued to talk about how it makes no sense I would wear both of those sizes.  There was an awkward silence and I just wanted to get the hell out of there.  I said, "Okay, never mind, I just want to look around."  She walked away and I told my husband I wanted to leave.  I put the underwear back and when we left the store we were both upset and confused.  He tried to cheer me up and said "Let's just go to the Victoria's Secret at the Town Center."

We ended up going there and getting help from a very nice sales associate who did not question why I wanted two different sizes.  Maybe my body is just weird or I like things to fit differently than most people, but to this day, those are still the sizes I wear at Victoria's Secret.  

I never saw that lady again, and I wonder if she acted that way to a different customer and they complained, resulting in her getting fired.  It wouldn't surprise me.  Please leave me a comment if you've ever had a similar experience with rude people like this!

Why You Should Always Close the Lid Before Flushing the Toilet

My family is constantly making fun of me for being a germophobe.  I always have to wash my hands immediately after taking out the trash or handling money.  I freak out around raw meat and I'll admit I'm overly cautious about washing everything it has touched.  I would clean the air around raw meat if I could.  But today's tip is common sense and you don't have to be a germophobe to see the benefits. 

I was a teenager when I discovered the truth about toilet spray, and ever since then, I have always closed the lid before flushing.  When I still lived with my parent's, I'll never forget hearing the toilet in my bathroom flush, seeing my dad walk out, and noticing the was toilet lid still up.  I freaked out and said "You're getting pee particles all over my bathroom!"  They had fun mimicking me with that one for a while.  

But seriously, the toilet spray is pretty nasty.  Here is what webmd.com has to say about it: "According to Charles Gerba, PhD, a professor of microbiology at University of Arizona in Tucson, flushing the toilet with the lid up is not wise. "Polluted water vapor erupts out of the flushing toilet bowl and it can take several hours for these particles to finally settle -- not to mention where," he says. "If you have your toothbrush too close to the toilet, you are brushing your teeth with what's in your toilet.""

As for public restrooms, the air is probably full of toilet spray so that is unavoidable.  I usually wait until I'm leaving the stall before I flush and then I hold my breath.  We can only do our best.

This may be old news to some, but many people may not be conscious of this simple way to keep your home cleaner and healthier.  It doesn't take long to close the lid and when it becomes a habit, you won't even have to think about it.

Our Wedding Day

Yesterday I wrote about my Wedding Disaster, where I discussed how the DJ ruined many aspects of my wedding.  Today I want to share the full story of my wedding because it definitely wasn't all bad.  I figured it's the perfect day to do so since today is my four year anniversary with my husband, Brian.

If you've read my love story, you know I married my 5th grade crush.  I'm writing this for anyone who is planning their wedding so you can understand how the day will probably not go as planned, and that's okay.  My wedding was beautiful, fun, frustrating, joyful, and a mess, all at the same time.  But at the end of the day, all that mattered was I was with Brian.  God brought us together at the perfect time.

At the beginning of 2012, we were trying to decide our wedding date.  We chose December 1st of that year and were happy with that choice for a while.  As the months went by, it seemed like December would never come.  We discussed whether or not to change the date, but after praying about it separately, we both agreed December 1st was the day.

Throughout the whole year of 2012, we met with our officiant and his wife for premarital counseling.  I believe it was very beneficial because it focused on what our lives would be like after the wedding and we learned a lot about each other.

If you've ever planned a wedding, you know how stressful it can be.  We had a few problems, but overall, everything came together beautifully.  I don't know what I would have done if our families hadn't been there to help with all the last minute details.

When the day of the wedding finally arrived, I was overwhelmed with a variety of emotions.  I was excited, nervous, happy, and thankful to be surrounded with friends and family who were helping create this event.  There was only supposed to be a 10 percent chance of rain, but it ended up drizzling most of that day.  The wedding was at 4 and thankfully it cleared up as guests were arriving.

The venue was at a golf course about 5 minutes from my parents house, so my bridesmaids and I got ready there.  I remember when everyone left and it was just me and my parents waiting to leave, I was trying to eat peanuts because I wasn't able to eat much lunch.  When I walked into the venue and saw Brian's mom, I lost it and started crying.  I think that was the moment it hit me that this was really happening.  They were happy tears and after freshening  up in the bathroom, my mom, Brian's mom, and some other ladies prayed with me which helped calm me down.

The ceremony was beautiful and just as we were finishing our vows, a rainbow appeared behind us.  It was another gift from God on our special day.  We got lots of pictures and went in to enjoy the ceremony and a delicious dinner.

Towards the end of the night Brian snuck me back to the tree where we got married.  The sun was down so you could really see the lights glowing in the mason jars.  He held me, kissed me, and we had a brief special moment together away from all the noise.

We left at around 8 and when we got to the car we discovered some of the guys had booby trapped it.  They wrote on the outside with car paint, put Vaseline on the steering wheel, and turned the heat on and hid the control knobs in the glove compartment.  As we drove away I realized I had to pee, so we went to my parent's house since it was so close.  I unzipped my dress so I could breathe easier and because it was so hot in there.  I'm sure we looked crazy when we pulled up to their house, which was later confirmed when we spoke to their neighbors who were lucky enough to have caught a glimpse of us.

After we got situated, I realized I forgot my purse so we had to go back to the venue.  Brian didn't even stop the car as I grabbed the purse from the best man and we were on the way to our honeymoon condo.  I'll never forget the electric energy in the car that night.  We were so full of joy and excitement.

We became one for the first time that night and words do not suffice for how amazing it was.  It was well worth the wait, but that's a whole other topic...

Wedding Disaster

Tomorrow is my 4 year anniversary with my husband, Brian.  We had a beautiful wedding on December 1st of 2012, but of course it wasn't a perfect day.  In fact, my memories of that day are often tainted because of someone we hired who did not know how to do their job.  

I'm not sharing this story to talk bad about someone.  I have to get this out because I want to warn other brides about the kind of disrespect that can happen in the wedding world.  I will not name the guy who I feel ruined my wedding because that's not the kind of person I am.  But I am going to give the full details of how he made my wedding day much more stressful than it should have been.

It all started when Brian, my mom, and I were discussing wedding plans.  My mom suggested we hire a man from our old church to be the DJ.  She said he would give us a good deal and I could pick my own music, so I agreed.  Now you have to understand something about me.  I absolutely love music.  This was a very significant part of the wedding to me.  I wanted to create a customized playlist of songs that were special to me and Brian.  I do not enjoy traditional wedding music and I'm not a fan of the radio.  I spent hours on a playlist for the entire evening of the wedding.  I organized it in a Word document by time slot.  The list had songs for before, during, and after the ceremony.  I also provided songs for while we were getting pictures taken, our entrance, dinner, dancing, cake cutting, etc.  I was very organized and tried to make it as easy as possible.

The DJ and his wife came over for dinner at least a month before the wedding to discuss details.  We all agreed his wife would be there to help direct people before and after the ceremony.  I gave him a printed version of my list and emailed it to him as well.  He said he didn't have most of the songs so I gave him a flash drive with all of them on it.  These were songs I paid for from iTunes.

On the night before the rehearsal dinner, I got a call from the DJ.  He said there was a problem with the flash drive.  He came over at 10 that night and informed me he was using a different program that didn't recognize any of the songs I gave him because it wasn't compatible with iTunes and since he didn't use iTunes at all, my songs would not play on his computer.  Now I'm no expert on being a DJ, but wouldn't you think if this was something you did all the time you would know how to use iTunes?  Well, not this DJ.   I was shocked he had waited so long to figure this out.  I was angry and exhausted.  I didn't need this on top of all the other things I had to deal with.

I agreed to let him use my laptop on the day of the wedding.  I told him I would make playlists for each section of the night so it would be super easy for him to play the songs I wanted.

The next night was the rehearsal.  Along with everyone else, I was shocked when he tried to take over and boss everyone around.  I had planned to have a very simple setting in front of a gorgeous tree.  The only decorations I wanted were white flower petals going down the aisle and mason jars with candles hanging from the tree.  I wanted to keep it simple, but he had to put his opinion in and let me know he thought I needed more.  I assured him I didn't.

This is all I wanted and it was perfect.

The day of the wedding had finally arrived and my emotions were all over the place.  I was thrilled to finally be getting married to the love of my life, but I was nervous because I'd have to be the center of attention.  I remember waiting with my dad, trying to breathe just before it was time for me to walk down the aisle.  

All the sudden, I hear a song that was supposed to be played earlier, and the grandparents started walking down the aisle.  My anxiety turned to concern as I realized the DJ was playing the wrong song!  I told my dad to run down there and tell him to start over with the right song, but he said there was no time.  When the parents started down the aisle, there was no music playing at all.  The wedding party walked to the right song though and as I passed the DJ just before my turn I whispered the name of my song to confirm he had the right one.  He did and it was the perfect song for me to walk to.

At this point, I wasn't thinking about the fact I didn't see the DJ's wife and another lady was directing people where to go.  She saved the day because he didn't tell us his wife was unable to come because she was home sick.

The ceremony was beautiful and after we had our pictures taken we began to walk to the reception hall.  The DJ came up to me and Brian with my music list in his hand. He asked a question about the song I wanted to be played for when the wedding party was introduced.  I answered his question and he went back in.  As we were waiting behind the bridesmaids and groomsman, he began the introductions, but there was something off.  A slow song was playing instead of the upbeat dance song I had just told him about.  I was fuming, but didn't want the moment to be ruined, so I entered the room with thoughts of my new husband.  People were immediately making comments about how that song was not fitting and how weird it was we entered to a slow song.

While we were eating our wedding dinner, a lame song that was definitely not on my list started to play.  I told Brian and he agreed this was ridiculous but helped me try to enjoy the rest of the night.  Then, my songs began to play and one of them played twice in a row.  This whole time I'm trying to enjoy my meal and all I can think about is what an idiot this guy was.

I let it go and the night continued.  Then, I hear a special song that was supposed to be played for couples towards the end of the night.  I asked my dad to tell the DJ this song is not supposed to be played right now.  He had the DJ change it, but not ten minutes later, it was playing again.  At this point, I felt defeated.  I asked my dad to ask him to change it again.  My dad came back and said he was outside, not even at his booth, and was mumbling something under his breath about my weird music.  My dad agreed his behavior was unacceptable.

When my dad and I had our father/daughter dance, the song was supposed to be stopped early because it was too long and I had a note on my playlist indicating where it should be cut off.  Well, we ended up dancing to the entire 4 minutes of the song.  

Then, this guy had the nerve to come up to me during the mother/son dance and say "No one noticed that special song was playing.  You shouldn't worry about it."  Thinking back on this moment, I should have told him how I felt.  I didn't want to deal with it so I just nodded.  But his attitude was so rude and disrespectful.  He said no one noticed, but I noticed and I'm the bride.  I didn't care about people noticing, I cared that he wasn't doing his job.

You can see him kneeling down to talk to me in the background.

He even forgot to announce the speeches, so no one got up and spoke at our wedding.  My dad had prepared a speech he never got to deliver.  We're not supposed to be the ones thinking about that sort of thing.  

Later, I found out he was rude to many of our guests and was passing out his card trying to get more clients.  After my husband and I left, we didn't think about anything that just happened because we were so relieved the day was over and we could finally be together.  But when we got back from our honeymoon and started talking to family about what happened, we all agreed the DJ was way out of line.

I wrote everyone involved with the wedding a thank you note, except the DJ.  I wrote him a letter explaining how disrespected I felt and how I will never get that day back.  But I never sent it.  I figured if that's how he acts, a letter isn't going to do anything.  It was just therapeutic for me.

Writing this has also been therapeutic.  I want people to be aware of who they hire and make sure you're on the same page.  If there are red flags in the beginning, let them go and get someone else.  Of course, I didn't expect a perfect day, but there was no reason I should have had to deal with all these issues on my wedding day.

I have struggled with forgiving him over these 4 years and I have to for my own sanity.  But I will never forget the lessons I learned when dealing with someone who is arrogant and disrespectful and I hope the next time that happens I will stand up for myself.

Why I Don't Have Cable TV

       

  When my husband and I first got married, we lived in a one bedroom apartment and had a Comcast cable and internet package.  The company assured us it made sense to have a package because you’d save money.  We rarely watched TV and after about a year of paying for something we never used, we decided to cut this out of our budget.  The cable company tried to convince us to keep it, but we had made up our minds.  I understand many people will not be able to relate to this post because they love watching TV, but this is how I truly feel about cable.  Below are the main reasons I have no desire to ever have cable TV in my home.

1. Cable TV is Too Expensive for What You Get

Think about how much you pay a month to have cable.  Now think about how much time you actually watch TV and consider how much of that time is spent watching ads.  You’re paying to watch commercials.  This doesn’t make sense and I will not waste another second of my life paying to have my brain turned to mush.

2. There are Better Alternatives

I’m not completely knocking watching TV.  I love Amazon Prime and Netflix.  They are superior to cable because there are no annoying commercials and they allow you to watch what you want on your time.  Not to mention, you can binge watch shows, so there’s no waiting to see what happens week to week.  Plus, these forms of entertainment prevent channel surfing.  You can stick to the shows and movies you like, and really save time.

3. Cable is a Waste of Time

Speaking of time, watching cable TV is a waste of time.  You can spend hours channel surfing and sitting through commercials.  You could be spending that time with friends and family or being productive.  In my opinion, cable promotes laziness.

4. Commercials are Rotting Your Brain

Did I mention how much I loathe commercials?  I can’t stand them.  They get super loud, they’re mostly advertising things I would never buy, and they’re taxing on your mental health.  There is a ton of research on how too much of this kind of stimulation is psychologically unhealthy.  Our lives are chaotic enough.  When we’re home, we should enjoy peace and quiet while we can, not fill our minds with meaningless chatter.

                It may seem strange to some since I’m only 26, but I really am content to watch less and less TV.  I feel like there are more important things to do in life.  In my home, there is one TV in the living room.  We will never have a TV in any of the bedrooms.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with relaxing every once in a while in front of the TV.  But I don’t think we should be addicted to it.  Maybe you completely disagree with everything I’ve said, but at least consider what TV is doing to your mental health and your family.  I believe attempting to have the TV on less would improve the quality of life in many homes.

5 Ways to Survive Long Distance Trips Away From Your Spouse

     As some of you may know, it’s hunting season.  My husband is a bow hunter and he goes away on long hunting trips quite often this time of year.  It’s bittersweet for me because I miss him terribly, but I also get to spend time with family and feel like a kid again.  I’m guessing there are many other people going through similar situations, so I’ve created this list to help you get through the separation. 

1. Write Notes to Each Other

Every year, I write my husband notes he can take with him and read for each day of his trip.  It may be about my thoughts, encouragement for him, prayers, or just plain love notes.  Sometimes he will hide notes for me to find while he’s gone too.  This is a nice way to feel close to each other.

2. Stay Busy

This is a simple concept, but well worth mentioning.  Keep yourself busy and make plans so you’re not sitting at home missing your spouse.  This makes the time go by much faster and it prevents depression from setting in.

3.  Spend Time with Friends and Family

Take advantage of this time to visit with your loved ones.  I always move back in with my parents because it’s fun to feel like a kid again.  I’m more comfortable being with them rather than staying at an empty apartment.  My Mom is my best friend, so we get to spend time together and I’ll often help her with organizing and home projects.  I also like to spend time with my sister, my aunt, and my husband’s family.  Being around these people help me not feel so lonely while I’m missing my husband.

4. Accomplish Things You Don’t Normally Have Time For

When was the last time you organized your home or finished a home improvement project?  This could be the perfect time to get things done and surprise your spouse when they get home.  You’ll feel productive and time will fly by.

5. Talk and Text As Often As Possible

This is an obvious one, but staying in contact with your spouse while they’re away will definitely help you get through missing them.  My husband and I are always texting throughout the day and he calls me every night.  Sometimes I even get a picture of him from his tree stand!

                I understand this list may seem silly to some people, but that’s okay.  This is where I am in my life right now.  I’d also like to acknowledge that some people (like my in-laws) have had to go way longer without seeing each other.  Military families or people with jobs that require a lot of travel have to be strong to be able to handle being away from each other for that long.  I admire those in this situation because I don’t know how I would survive.  God must give them strength.  Anyway, I hope this helps you the next time you have to be away from your love!

Biblical Violence and Violent Entertainment

A while I ago I did a review for Signs where I discussed how terrified I was of certain scenes in the movie.  I remember that was one of the first times a movie truly scared me.  Eventually, I grew to enjoy scary movies, with the exception of anything depicting torture, and realized it actually helped me overcome many fears.  Within the last few years I have been reading through the Old Testament with the goal of reading the entire Bible all the way through.  What I learned is an interesting correlation between what I'm seeing in gory TV shows and movies, and the gruesome violence that occurred in Biblical times.

Many people do not like violent movies or shows and are shocked when I share my enthusiasm for shows like The Walking Dead or movies like Underworld.  I am a Christian so how could I allow these things into my mind?  After all, Colossians 3:2 says "Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth."  I've never felt a conviction when watching these things and honestly I'm more disturbed by a barf scene than by someone getting eaten by a zombie.  There is something about knowing zombies aren't real and that's not going to happen that allows me to not be afraid or disturbed by it.  But I get squeamish watching a video of someone having real surgery.

The point is, as I've read through the Old Testament, I have been shocked to discover how similar some stories are to the disturbing scenes I've seen in movies and TV.  For example,  in Judges 19:22-30, there is a story I was horrified to read.  It tells of a concubine who was raped and beaten all night and left for dead.  When her master found her "...he took a knife, and taking hold of his concubine he divided her, limb by limb, into twelve pieces, and sent her throughout all the territory of Israel." (Verse 29)  When I read this, it instantly reminded me of something I might see on the show Dexter.

So why would God put these terrible stories in His book?  I believe it is to show the evil nature of humanity and to further prove how much we need Jesus.  I don't consume my mind with these forms of entertainment all the time, but every once in a while I enjoy them.  I do not feel this is a sin, because honestly, it's not much different than reading the Bible.  Everyone is different though, so if you feel like you're watching something you shouldn't, turn it off.  As long as my main focus in life is to live for Jesus, I don't see a problem with enjoying a gruesome movie once in a while.