Buying Our First Home

February 24, 2017

It's been too long since I've posted!  Brian and I just moved into a new house, plus being pregnant has thrown me off my usual routine.  Between the move, planning for the arrival of our daughter, and doctor appointments, I've stayed pretty busy.  Things are calming down a little before our whole world is flipped upside down by the miracle of life, so I thought I'd take this time to share the story of buying our first house.  It has been a slow roller coaster, but we finally feel settled.  For the first time since we've been married, we feel like this is not a temporary living situation and there is something very peaceful and comforting about that.  It has taken a lot of praying, patience, and trust to get us here.

Brian and I lived with our parents before we got married.  A couple months before the wedding, Brian moved into a one bedroom apartment.  It was closer to his work, still close to our families, and was in a nicer part of town where things were expanding.  After the wedding, I moved in with him and we lived there for about 3 and a half years.  During that time, we decided to start looking for a house.  In early 2015, we began working with a realtor to try and find a home in an older part of town.

Prayer has always been a part of my life, especially in my marriage.  I believe God answers us, often in ways we never expected.  When Brian and I started looking for a house, we prayed for God to lead us on what to do.  After being pre-approved by the bank, we looked at several houses.  Most of them needed a lot of work, but we came across one that stood out.  It was a cute two story house with a gorgeous backyard and we really liked it.  We decided to put an offer on it and were accepted.  We signed papers with the realtor and were very excited.  Our prayer was that if this was the right house for us, everything would go smoothly, but if it wasn't, we asked God to throw in a monkey wrench.

Brian went to meet with a loan officer to begin the process while I was babysitting.  After the meeting, he called me and was trying to stay composed, but I could sense how upset he was.  Since I hadn't been at my current job for at least 2 years, we would not be approved for the loan we wanted to use.  Our only two options were to let the house go or use all our savings to get it.

We were both really disappointed because we had come so far.  Part of me wanted to just do what we had to do to get this house.  But Brian convinced me that would not be wise.  We decided to look at this as the monkey wrench we had prayed for and let the house go.  I remember feeling guilty because it was my fault it didn't work out.  But God had us the whole time.  It's times like these I'm glad I don't follow my heart.  "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, who can know it." Jeremiah 17:9  

This is a picture I found around the time we let the house go.  It was a reminder to trust God.

After a time of sadness, we came out of this experience with a refreshed mindset.  We gave thanks to God for protecting us from making a spontaneous decision.  We realized the area we had been planning to move was becoming quite run down.  We would have been settling because we really didn't want a two story house anyway.  Looking back, we're so happy it didn't work out.

Even if we weren't going to buy a house, we still felt it was time to move out of the one bedroom apartment we had lived in since we got married.  In April 2016, we moved to another apartment down the road.  It was a newer two bedroom place and we felt good about having more space.

Around this time, my sister and her husband had also been trying to find a house.  They ended up building in a new development right across the street from the apartment complex we had just moved from.  I loved the neighborhood and location and dreamed of being able to build in a place like that.  But I felt like it wouldn't happen because of our financial situation.

Several months went by and we watched my sister's house being built.  She had been trying to convince us to at least check into the process of building there.  We started looking into to it, not too seriously, and praying about what God wanted us to do.  On July 31, 2016, we started the process of building a home in this brand new neighborhood.  I remember driving home that day talking to Brian about how this felt different.  

It took about 7 months for our dream home to be built.  It's a one story, 3 bedroom, 2 bath house and I'm extremely happy with how it turned out.  The whole process went very smoothly.  My parents ended up selling their home and building in our neighborhood as well, so now my whole family lives here.  

I can't give enough credit to God for orchestrating all this.  The main point I wanted to get across was we do not have a full picture when going through struggles.  I don't want to sound cliche, but I believe everything really does happen for a reason.  God has provided for me time and time again and He blesses those who trust Him.  Relying on our own limited understanding is not enough to navigate through this complicated life.  Peace comes when we surrender everything to Jesus and choose to trust in His plans for our lives.

Food Sensitivity: Curse or Blessing?

People are becoming aware of food allergies and sensitivities now more than ever.  There are more vegan and gluten-free options at restaurants and grocery stores and hopefully people are starting to realize what you put in your body affects every aspect of health and beauty.  

I have been sensitive to certain foods most of my life.  I was a kid the first time I realized I was limited with what I could consume.  I was at a church sleepover where sodas were being served.  My mom never kept soda in the house, so I took advantage of this new exciting drink.  My tiny body was not used to the chemicals and sugar so I had jittery, uncomfortable energy.  Once that wore off, I crashed and felt awful.  I vowed to never drink soda again.

As a young teenager, I discovered every time I drank coffee, my stomach would hurt, my heart would race, and I'd feel shaky.  I found out I'm super sensitive to caffeine and even decaf coffee would hurt my stomach.  So coffee and soda became big no nos for me.

One of the worst experiences I've ever had with a food sensitivity was with the artificial sweetener, aspartame.  It was in the gum and mints I was using at around the age of 14 and I discovered this fake sugar was causing visual migraines that terrified me.  Please read all about this in My Aspartame Horror Story and share with everyone you know.  These fake sugars are toxic and should not even be on the market.

I've also had bad experiences with processed foods.  While on my honeymoon, I noticed my husband was drinking coffee with a hazelnut creamer that looked delicious.  It was the International Delight brand.  At this point in my life, I hadn't had coffee in years and thought I'd give it another try.  I literally had 3 small sips and it wasn't long before I was on the toilet with a severe stomach ache feeling nauseous and jittery.  I believe it was the chemicals in the coffee creamer, and of course the coffee itself, that made me feel this way.  Needless to say, I plan to stay away from both for the rest of my life.

Another time, I ate dinner at a friend's house and about an hour later developed a red skin rash.  I was used to eating all the contents of the meal except the tortillas.  The only thing I can think of is there was something in that tortilla that did not agree with me.  The rash was gone the next day, but now I have to be careful to avoid processed foods.

Finally, I strongly believe dairy was a huge contributing factor to why I struggled with acne for so many years.  The dairy industry wants us to believe we need dairy to be healthy, but this is not true.  The human body is not meant to digest dairy, so it causes all sorts of problems like skin issues, low energy, and weight gain.  Since cutting dairy out of my life, I look and feel so much better, and I'd never go back.  Plus, there are so many other options like coconut and almond milk products, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.

Others with similar or worse dietary restrictions sometimes see these limitations as a curse because they can no longer enjoy the foods they used to.  But what if this "curse" is really a blessing in disguise?  Our body's reactions to what we eat are communicating something extremely important to us.  I tend to view my limitations as blessings, because that means I shouldn't be putting junk into my body anyways.

If you're struggling with a health or beauty issue I'd encourage you to look at what you're eating.  Research nutrition on your own and try to keep an open mind about what you discover.  The main goal of many companies is to make money and your health is not their concern.  Do what is best for your health and your body will thank you for it!

How I Survived My First Trimester

Recently, I announced my husband and I are expecting our first baby.  I'm kind of a private person so I wanted to wait until I was pretty far along before I posted it on social media.  I'm currently 5 and half months and so happy to be through with the first trimester!  Today, I wanted to share my personal experiences with being pregnant those first few months.

Brian and I have been married over four years.  Last year, we decided we were ready to have a baby.  Those first few years of marriage without kids were great and I'm glad we got to enjoy that time together.  In May of 2016, I went off birth control and it took about 5 months before we got a positive test result.

On September 25, we both stared at the result window with shock and excitement.  I remember feeling shaky and overjoyed to be carrying life inside me.  It was extremely hard, but we decided to keep this a secret from our families for a while so we could do something really special when we made our announcement.

On October 29, it had been a little over a month and we were finally going to tell our families.  I didn't want anything extravagant, but I also wanted to surprise them.  My sister and brother-in-law already found out because they accidentally saw something on Brian's phone.  They helped set up the camera so we could record reactions.  We invited both of our parents, sisters, and brothers-in-law for dinner and when everyone got there, Brian said we had an announcement. 

I made up a bogus story about how we were going to be building a vacation home in Georgia and we wanted them to help us decide on the plans.  We handed each couple an envelope with 4 pictures, the last one being the ultrasound.  My mom jumped up and hugged me so tight I couldn't breath.  Some were shocked, while others had their previous suspicions confirmed.

The picture in the top right is a reaction shot of when I told Brian to come look at the pregnancy test result.  He was testing his game camera and when we saw this, we died laughing.

I didn't show much at all in the first trimester, so I was able to wear all my normal clothes.  I used a hair tie to make my pants a little looser, and that was a great fix since I didn't want to buy maternity clothes yet.  I did have some emotional and physical symptoms.  I was nauseated almost everyday, but thank God I never threw up.  My eyes got even more sensitive to the sun, I had no energy, and I was often depressed.  Brian went on a lot of hunting trips during this time too, so I was alone more.  Usually this wouldn't bother me, but for some reason I felt more lonely.  Unfortunately, as a result of not feeling well, my family got the worst of my mood swings.

I did have a few weird cravings and got off track a little on my Beauty Detox diet, but I quickly realized I couldn't keep that up because I would feel sick after eating "cheat" foods and my skin broke out a little too.

I ended up losing some weight, which the doctor said was normal due to the nausea.  I got a few pounds under 100, but once I got past the first 3 months I got my appetite back and started gaining.  Now that I'm in my second trimester, many things have changed, which I will update on once I enter my third trimester.  I'll also be posting about my terrible experience with my former OBGYN, so look out for that soon!

I feel like my first trimester could have been better, but it could have been way worse.  I'm thankful to have such a loving family who is always there for me.  It took a lot of praying and taking it one day at a time, but I made it through.  The second trimester is definitely a lot more fun!

The Joys of Serving Your Spouse

Disclaimer: I understand everyone is in different situations.  I am speaking in generals here.  

When Brian and I got married, we obviously had to get used to living with each other.  Being the clean freak I am, I went through our whole apartment every morning and straightened up anything out of place.  This included Brian's Bible he left out after leaving for work.  I didn't mind putting it back in his nightstand, but he didn't understand why I had to.  In his mind, there was nothing wrong with leaving it on the table.  But to me, everything should be put in it's place.  I admit I got my way because now our Bibles are kept in our nightstands where they belong and he understands if his things are left out, I will put them away.

Recently, I read an article called Stop Being a Butthole Wife (awesome title by the way).  It has inspired me to write about my own experiences serving my husband.  In her article, this wife describes her nagging attitude towards her husband who she constantly had to clean up after.  Then, when her husband passed away, she realized how ridiculous her behavior was.  I was almost in tears while reading this, because she speaks so much truth.  Why are we as wives so easily annoyed by a few clothes laying on the floor or a few dishes left in the sink?  

Before I go on, I have to acknowledge I am in a unique position because I don't have a full time job and my husband is not a messy guy.  The only times I have to clean up after him are picking up a pair of shorts off the floor or cleaning his dishes.  I'm also an alien because I truly enjoy housework.  I'm serious.  I love it.  My husband works his butt off all day to provide for us, so when he gets home, our house is immaculate, his laundry is done and put away, and there is a home cooked meal ready for him every night.  He shouldn't have to lift a finger.  I absolutely love serving him, because I know if I really needed him, he would help me without complaining.

I'm not trying to depict ours as a perfect relationship, because, of course, we have our disagreements.  I simply want to share my experience, because I see so many people struggle in their relationships because they don't want to serve one another.  I know you're tired.  I know you're overwhelmed.  But what if instead of nagging your spouse the next time you have to clean up after them, you simply complete the task in silence, even if you're cursing them in your head.

Try to think about a positive aspect of this scenario.  You actually have the ability to do this for them.  You're able to take care of the person you love in this way.  They might even notice you've done all that work and not complained once.  It may take a few times for them to acknowledge it, but think about how grateful they will be and how this could positively affect your relationship.

God intended husbands and wives to serve one another.  It has to be give and take.  I'd encourage you to consider all your spouse does for you.  Tell them how thankful you are and strive to serve them without complaining.  This would also be a great example for your children.  Growing up, my mom never complained about having to do housework or clean up after me, my sister, or my dad.  She did it in love and joy.  Watching her serve our family this way and my dad's grateful reactions made it easy for me to step into my role as a housewife.  My mom kept up with the house, cooking and cleaning with two kids, so I know it can be done.

I was specifically touched by the woman who wrote the article above, because she actually lost her husband.  This could happen to any of us at any time.  The work has to be done and you can either complain or choose to be joyful and thankful.  By simply shifting your attitude to one of joy that you're able to serve your spouse, imagine how much less stress you'll put on yourself!

Sometimes it's easier said than done, but what do you have to lose?  Just try and see how your relationships with your spouse and children improve, creating a healthier, happier home life.

Vinyl Haul

My husband and I started collecting vinyl in 2015, and since then we've accumulated quite a collection.  Today I wanted to share my vinyl collection and discuss the stories behind how we got each one.

The first record we ever got was a spur of the moment decision.  We were at a concert to see Wolves at the Gate in April of 2015.  We saw records at the merch table and my husband decided we should get one, just for fun.  We aren't really spontaneous people, so this was a big deal.

We bought VxV and got it signed by all the band members.  At this point we didn't even own a record player, we were just excited to have this piece of memorabilia.

The next vinyl we got was Emery's You Were Never Alone.  We listen to The BadChristian Podcast (two of Emery's members are hosts) where they were promoting this album.  They were selling the record for a fair price so we ordered it online.  We still didn't have a record player, but planned to get one in the future.

We did some research and decided to buy one from Urban Outfitters.  It's a great first record player and eventually, we might get one that's more high tech.  While at Urban Outfitters, we picked up A Day to Remember's Homesick and Death Cab For Cutie's Kintsugi.  

Crosley Vinyl Record Player

Brian and I were checking out vinyls at Hot Topic one day and found Blink-182's Greatest Hits, The Devil Wears Prada's double record featuring Dear Love: A Beautiful Discord and Plagues, and Sleeping With Sirens' With Ears to See and Eyes to Hear and Feel.

Our collection was growing and I decided I had to have Little Machines by Lights on vinyl.  We also pre-ordered To Those Left Behind by Blessthefall.

In November of 2015, we attended Emery's 10 year anniversary show for The Question and got one of the few vinyls they had left.  Unfortunately, we didn't get any autographs, but we did get to briefly meet Matt, the guitarist.

Something strange happened to me at the beginning of 2016.  I discovered Nirvana.  I know I'm pretty old to be discovering such an iconic band, but I guess when I was an angsty teen I got stuck in the early 2000's emo band era and never bothered to look back.  I was only a year old when Nevermind came out in 1991.  I kept seeing their posters in movies and TV shows and heard about them so often I decided to check them out.  I ended up really enjoying their music so I went to Urban Outfitters and picked up Nevermind. 

Lights released Midnight Machines in April of 2016 and of course I had to pre-order that vinyl.  It's one of my favorite records to listen to because of the vibe of the slowed down songs.

In May of 2016, Pierce the Veil released Misadventures.  I hadn't heard one song from the album but I pre-ordered it because I knew it would be amazing.  They raise the bar with each album and they did not disappoint with Misadventures.  I'm so glad I have the vinyl because it's their best album yet.

In October of 2016, Brian and I went to see Hawthorne Heights in concert and we were lucky enough to get the lead singer, JT Woodruff's autograph on our Hurt vinyl.  

Next we pre-ordered The Devil Wears Prada's new album, Transit Blues and got their Space EP.

Finally, the last vinyl we got is by the same band we started with.  Brian surprised me and pre-ordered Wolves at the Gate's latest album, Types and Shadows.

Our collection isn't complete and it's actually a big deal I would collect anything considering I try to create a minimal living space.  But this is one thing I feel is a really special collection because records are so personal and there are creative ways to display them.  I never thought I'd be into vinyl but I believe it's a great way to support the artists.  Investing in records is a way to truly value the music you love.

5 Reasons I Plan to Be Honest With My Kids About Santa

First of all, I realize this is a controversial topic and many people will say I'm a Grinch or Scrooge for having this opinion, but that's okay.  My goal isn't to make anyone feel bad for their Christmas traditions.  I simply want to throw out some ideas you may not have previously considered.

I do not have kids yet, but when they come along, I plan on telling them the truth about Santa.  I don't want them to believe in someone who isn't real, not because I'm trying to prevent them from having fun, but because I want to give them the respect and honesty they deserve.  I will encourage them to pretend if they want and of course to not say anything to other kids, but in our home, they will know the truth.  Below are the main reasons my children will know Santa isn't real.  

1. It Takes the Focus Off What's Important About Christmas

When I was growing up, it was all about the presents.  I was a selfish child and all I cared about was what I got.  I don't want that same mentality for my children.  I want them to know the true meaning of Christmas.  I want them to look forward to spending quality time with family and understand that we celebrate the birth of our savior on this day (even though Jesus' birthday isn't really Christmas).  We don't need to focus on a fictional character bringing us gifts.  Instead, I want it to be a celebration of love, joy, and togetherness.

2. Confusion and Disappointment are Inevitable When Kids Discover the Truth

Of course disappointment is a normal part of life, and I'd even say it's a necessary aspect of a healthy childhood.  But why create unnecessary confusion and disappointment?  I remember when I found my teeth in the kitchen cupboard when I was about six years old.  I brought them to my mom and asked her why they were still here.  "Why didn't the Tooth Fairy take them?"  It was then that she told me the truth about all the holiday characters.  I was okay with it after a while, but I was confused as to why I was lied to all those years, which leads me to my next point.

3. It Teaches Them Dishonesty Is Okay

When kids find out their parents have been lying to them all this time, they might start to question what else they've lied about.  Can they even trust their own parents?  This usually doesn't ruin relationships, but I don't think it's a risk worth taking.  I want my kids to be able to trust me with anything and that can only happen if they can rely on me and my husband to tell them the truth.  I want to strive to be a strong role model for my kids and a major aspect of that will be honesty.  

4. Santa Isn't a Good Role Model

In my home, my husband and I plan to give our kids unconditional love.  Even when they make mistakes, we will love them because our foundation is in Jesus.  Jesus loves everyone with an unconditional love we can't even fathom.  He is who I want my kids to focus on all year long.  I also plan on teaching my children healthy eating habits.  One of the main problems I have with Santa is his "naughty and nice list", which tells kids they better be good or they'll get coal in their stockings.  This depicts conditional love, which I feel is unhealthy.  Santa is also overweight and his eating habits are no where near what I'd consider healthy.  He also represents commercialism, which feels out of control these days.

5. Someone Who Doesn't Exist Gets Credit for Gifts

I admit, I'm not a big fan of gifts.  According to the love language test, gift receiving is second to last on my list.  I'm also a minimalist, so I don't want my home filled with clutter.  But I will get my kids presents, I just want them to know they're from me and their father.  Why would I want to give the credit to a fictional character?  I remember enjoying opening presents at home a lot more once I knew they were given with love from my parents.

Of course there are those of you reading this thinking I should just let all of this go and let my kids be kids and enjoy Santa.  But I want them to have a foundation of truth.  They can still use their imaginations and pretend if they want to, but they will have that choice.  I'm thankful my husband and I agree about all the points above and we plan to give our kids awesome Christmas memories.  They may not be super traditional, but we're not really traditional people for the most part, so that's okay.  Hopefully, this didn't upset anyone and maybe I've given you something to think about as we get closer to the long awaited Christmas day.

Foreshadowing of True Love

I've already shared the story of How I Married My 5th Grade Crush.  Today I want to share something that happened when Brian and I were first dating.  It was 2011 and we were falling more in love every day.  One night, I was babysitting alone and the kids were asleep.  I was watching a show on my phone and there was a party scene.  Suddenly, a memory I hadn't thought about in 11 years was triggered.
  
I was 10 years old at my 5th grade dance.  I was wearing a pink dress and my mom had let me shave my legs for the first time.  I cautiously approached the dance floor of the small Elementary school gymnasium.  I had sat out all the dancing up to this point, but decided to take advantage of the last song of the night.  All the kids were crowded around the center of the room close to the DJ on stage.  There were no couples dancing, just a large group of kids dancing together to some 90's hit.  I stood next to a few friends, trying to not stand out.

This is me, my mom, and my teacher, Miss Holley, at the 5th grade dance.

Brian and Miss Holley

  Across the crowd, I saw my crush surrounded by the popular boys from our class.  We had only spoken a few times the whole school year and he had always been nice to me, but he was more interested in hanging out with his friends.

In that moment, our eyes locked for what felt like a long time.  We stared at each other intensely, and then the moment was gone.  I remember feeling like that was a significant event, especially since this was around the end of Elementary school and big changes were happening.  As the years went on, I forgot all about this moment.  

Now, 15 years later, we are happily married.  Looking back on that memory always reminds me that God created us for each other.  I can't help but reflect on it, thinking about all we've been through, and knowing I was staring at my future that night.

Rude Victoria's Secret Lady!

I decided to share this story because I'm curious if this has ever happened to anyone else.  This occurred several years ago, but it still baffles me that a sales lady would act this way.  

Before I get into the story, I just want to say I love Victoria's Secret and I don't think this reflects their company.  This was just one rude lady who was having a bad day for all I know.  I still shop there and love their merchandise.

Several years ago, my husband and I went to the Victoria's Secret at our local mall.  I had a free underwear coupon and wanted to look at sleep shorts.  We walked into the store and were greeted my a middle aged blonde woman who was fairly pleasant and asked if she could help us with anything.  I showed her the coupon and she directed us towards the display of free panties.  Normally the sales people will give you space to decide, but since it wasn't very busy she stayed and asked me what my size was.  I told her medium and she handed me the underwear.

My husband and I browsed a little in that same area and came across some sleep shorts I liked.  I was looking for an X-small because that's the size I always wear in their clothing.  There were no X-smalls except on the mannequin.  The lady who helped us before was in close proximity and came over.  I asked her if I could try on the shorts that were on the display mannequin because there were no other X-smalls out.  

She gave me the weirdest look and said in a snobby voice "Our sizes all run the same.  I just gave you a medium.  Why do you need an X-small?"  I was shocked.  For all she knew I was getting the underwear for a friend and the shorts for me.  But either way, who cares if I want to buy two different sizes?  She was supposed to assist us so we would buy from her store, but now she was acting like I was doing something wrong.  

Thinking back, maybe she just didn't want to take the shorts off the mannequin, but she still didn't have to be so rude.  I didn't know what to say so my husband spoke up and said "Those are the sizes she's always been.  What's the problem?"  He's very protective of me.

She looked at us like we were crazy and continued to talk about how it makes no sense I would wear both of those sizes.  There was an awkward silence and I just wanted to get the hell out of there.  I said, "Okay, never mind, I just want to look around."  She walked away and I told my husband I wanted to leave.  I put the underwear back and when we left the store we were both upset and confused.  He tried to cheer me up and said "Let's just go to the Victoria's Secret at the Town Center."

We ended up going there and getting help from a very nice sales associate who did not question why I wanted two different sizes.  Maybe my body is just weird or I like things to fit differently than most people, but to this day, those are still the sizes I wear at Victoria's Secret.  

I never saw that lady again, and I wonder if she acted that way to a different customer and they complained, resulting in her getting fired.  It wouldn't surprise me.  Please leave me a comment if you've ever had a similar experience with rude people like this!

Our Wedding Day

Yesterday I wrote about my Wedding Disaster, where I discussed how the DJ ruined many aspects of my wedding.  Today I want to share the full story of my wedding because it definitely wasn't all bad.  I figured it's the perfect day to do so since today is my four year anniversary with my husband, Brian.

If you've read my love story, you know I married my 5th grade crush.  I'm writing this for anyone who is planning their wedding so you can understand how the day will probably not go as planned, and that's okay.  My wedding was beautiful, fun, frustrating, joyful, and a mess, all at the same time.  But at the end of the day, all that mattered was I was with Brian.  God brought us together at the perfect time.

At the beginning of 2012, we were trying to decide our wedding date.  We chose December 1st of that year and were happy with that choice for a while.  As the months went by, it seemed like December would never come.  We discussed whether or not to change the date, but after praying about it separately, we both agreed December 1st was the day.

Throughout the whole year of 2012, we met with our officiant and his wife for premarital counseling.  I believe it was very beneficial because it focused on what our lives would be like after the wedding and we learned a lot about each other.

If you've ever planned a wedding, you know how stressful it can be.  We had a few problems, but overall, everything came together beautifully.  I don't know what I would have done if our families hadn't been there to help with all the last minute details.

When the day of the wedding finally arrived, I was overwhelmed with a variety of emotions.  I was excited, nervous, happy, and thankful to be surrounded with friends and family who were helping create this event.  There was only supposed to be a 10 percent chance of rain, but it ended up drizzling most of that day.  The wedding was at 4 and thankfully it cleared up as guests were arriving.

The venue was at a golf course about 5 minutes from my parents house, so my bridesmaids and I got ready there.  I remember when everyone left and it was just me and my parents waiting to leave, I was trying to eat peanuts because I wasn't able to eat much lunch.  When I walked into the venue and saw Brian's mom, I lost it and started crying.  I think that was the moment it hit me that this was really happening.  They were happy tears and after freshening  up in the bathroom, my mom, Brian's mom, and some other ladies prayed with me which helped calm me down.

The ceremony was beautiful and just as we were finishing our vows, a rainbow appeared behind us.  It was another gift from God on our special day.  We got lots of pictures and went in to enjoy the ceremony and a delicious dinner.

Towards the end of the night Brian snuck me back to the tree where we got married.  The sun was down so you could really see the lights glowing in the mason jars.  He held me, kissed me, and we had a brief special moment together away from all the noise.

We left at around 8 and when we got to the car we discovered some of the guys had booby trapped it.  They wrote on the outside with car paint, put Vaseline on the steering wheel, and turned the heat on and hid the control knobs in the glove compartment.  As we drove away I realized I had to pee, so we went to my parent's house since it was so close.  I unzipped my dress so I could breathe easier and because it was so hot in there.  I'm sure we looked crazy when we pulled up to their house, which was later confirmed when we spoke to their neighbors who were lucky enough to have caught a glimpse of us.

After we got situated, I realized I forgot my purse so we had to go back to the venue.  Brian didn't even stop the car as I grabbed the purse from the best man and we were on the way to our honeymoon condo.  I'll never forget the electric energy in the car that night.  We were so full of joy and excitement.

We became one for the first time that night and words do not suffice for how amazing it was.  It was well worth the wait, but that's a whole other topic...

Wedding Disaster

Tomorrow is my 4 year anniversary with my husband, Brian.  We had a beautiful wedding on December 1st of 2012, but of course it wasn't a perfect day.  In fact, my memories of that day are often tainted because of someone we hired who did not know how to do their job.  

I'm not sharing this story to talk bad about someone.  I have to get this out because I want to warn other brides about the kind of disrespect that can happen in the wedding world.  I will not name the guy who I feel ruined my wedding because that's not the kind of person I am.  But I am going to give the full details of how he made my wedding day much more stressful than it should have been.

It all started when Brian, my mom, and I were discussing wedding plans.  My mom suggested we hire a man from our old church to be the DJ.  She said he would give us a good deal and I could pick my own music, so I agreed.  Now you have to understand something about me.  I absolutely love music.  This was a very significant part of the wedding to me.  I wanted to create a customized playlist of songs that were special to me and Brian.  I do not enjoy traditional wedding music and I'm not a fan of the radio.  I spent hours on a playlist for the entire evening of the wedding.  I organized it in a Word document by time slot.  The list had songs for before, during, and after the ceremony.  I also provided songs for while we were getting pictures taken, our entrance, dinner, dancing, cake cutting, etc.  I was very organized and tried to make it as easy as possible.

The DJ and his wife came over for dinner at least a month before the wedding to discuss details.  We all agreed his wife would be there to help direct people before and after the ceremony.  I gave him a printed version of my list and emailed it to him as well.  He said he didn't have most of the songs so I gave him a flash drive with all of them on it.  These were songs I paid for from iTunes.

On the night before the rehearsal dinner, I got a call from the DJ.  He said there was a problem with the flash drive.  He came over at 10 that night and informed me he was using a different program that didn't recognize any of the songs I gave him because it wasn't compatible with iTunes and since he didn't use iTunes at all, my songs would not play on his computer.  Now I'm no expert on being a DJ, but wouldn't you think if this was something you did all the time you would know how to use iTunes?  Well, not this DJ.   I was shocked he had waited so long to figure this out.  I was angry and exhausted.  I didn't need this on top of all the other things I had to deal with.

I agreed to let him use my laptop on the day of the wedding.  I told him I would make playlists for each section of the night so it would be super easy for him to play the songs I wanted.

The next night was the rehearsal.  Along with everyone else, I was shocked when he tried to take over and boss everyone around.  I had planned to have a very simple setting in front of a gorgeous tree.  The only decorations I wanted were white flower petals going down the aisle and mason jars with candles hanging from the tree.  I wanted to keep it simple, but he had to put his opinion in and let me know he thought I needed more.  I assured him I didn't.

This is all I wanted and it was perfect.

The day of the wedding had finally arrived and my emotions were all over the place.  I was thrilled to finally be getting married to the love of my life, but I was nervous because I'd have to be the center of attention.  I remember waiting with my dad, trying to breathe just before it was time for me to walk down the aisle.  

All the sudden, I hear a song that was supposed to be played earlier, and the grandparents started walking down the aisle.  My anxiety turned to concern as I realized the DJ was playing the wrong song!  I told my dad to run down there and tell him to start over with the right song, but he said there was no time.  When the parents started down the aisle, there was no music playing at all.  The wedding party walked to the right song though and as I passed the DJ just before my turn I whispered the name of my song to confirm he had the right one.  He did and it was the perfect song for me to walk to.

At this point, I wasn't thinking about the fact I didn't see the DJ's wife and another lady was directing people where to go.  She saved the day because he didn't tell us his wife was unable to come because she was home sick.

The ceremony was beautiful and after we had our pictures taken we began to walk to the reception hall.  The DJ came up to me and Brian with my music list in his hand. He asked a question about the song I wanted to be played for when the wedding party was introduced.  I answered his question and he went back in.  As we were waiting behind the bridesmaids and groomsman, he began the introductions, but there was something off.  A slow song was playing instead of the upbeat dance song I had just told him about.  I was fuming, but didn't want the moment to be ruined, so I entered the room with thoughts of my new husband.  People were immediately making comments about how that song was not fitting and how weird it was we entered to a slow song.

While we were eating our wedding dinner, a lame song that was definitely not on my list started to play.  I told Brian and he agreed this was ridiculous but helped me try to enjoy the rest of the night.  Then, my songs began to play and one of them played twice in a row.  This whole time I'm trying to enjoy my meal and all I can think about is what an idiot this guy was.

I let it go and the night continued.  Then, I hear a special song that was supposed to be played for couples towards the end of the night.  I asked my dad to tell the DJ this song is not supposed to be played right now.  He had the DJ change it, but not ten minutes later, it was playing again.  At this point, I felt defeated.  I asked my dad to ask him to change it again.  My dad came back and said he was outside, not even at his booth, and was mumbling something under his breath about my weird music.  My dad agreed his behavior was unacceptable.

When my dad and I had our father/daughter dance, the song was supposed to be stopped early because it was too long and I had a note on my playlist indicating where it should be cut off.  Well, we ended up dancing to the entire 4 minutes of the song.  

Then, this guy had the nerve to come up to me during the mother/son dance and say "No one noticed that special song was playing.  You shouldn't worry about it."  Thinking back on this moment, I should have told him how I felt.  I didn't want to deal with it so I just nodded.  But his attitude was so rude and disrespectful.  He said no one noticed, but I noticed and I'm the bride.  I didn't care about people noticing, I cared that he wasn't doing his job.

You can see him kneeling down to talk to me in the background.

He even forgot to announce the speeches, so no one got up and spoke at our wedding.  My dad had prepared a speech he never got to deliver.  We're not supposed to be the ones thinking about that sort of thing.  

Later, I found out he was rude to many of our guests and was passing out his card trying to get more clients.  After my husband and I left, we didn't think about anything that just happened because we were so relieved the day was over and we could finally be together.  But when we got back from our honeymoon and started talking to family about what happened, we all agreed the DJ was way out of line.

I wrote everyone involved with the wedding a thank you note, except the DJ.  I wrote him a letter explaining how disrespected I felt and how I will never get that day back.  But I never sent it.  I figured if that's how he acts, a letter isn't going to do anything.  It was just therapeutic for me.

Writing this has also been therapeutic.  I want people to be aware of who they hire and make sure you're on the same page.  If there are red flags in the beginning, let them go and get someone else.  Of course, I didn't expect a perfect day, but there was no reason I should have had to deal with all these issues on my wedding day.

I have struggled with forgiving him over these 4 years and I have to for my own sanity.  But I will never forget the lessons I learned when dealing with someone who is arrogant and disrespectful and I hope the next time that happens I will stand up for myself.

5 Ways to Survive Long Distance Trips Away From Your Spouse

     As some of you may know, it’s hunting season.  My husband is a bow hunter and he goes away on long hunting trips quite often this time of year.  It’s bittersweet for me because I miss him terribly, but I also get to spend time with family and feel like a kid again.  I’m guessing there are many other people going through similar situations, so I’ve created this list to help you get through the separation. 

1. Write Notes to Each Other

Every year, I write my husband notes he can take with him and read for each day of his trip.  It may be about my thoughts, encouragement for him, prayers, or just plain love notes.  Sometimes he will hide notes for me to find while he’s gone too.  This is a nice way to feel close to each other.

2. Stay Busy

This is a simple concept, but well worth mentioning.  Keep yourself busy and make plans so you’re not sitting at home missing your spouse.  This makes the time go by much faster and it prevents depression from setting in.

3.  Spend Time with Friends and Family

Take advantage of this time to visit with your loved ones.  I always move back in with my parents because it’s fun to feel like a kid again.  I’m more comfortable being with them rather than staying at an empty apartment.  My Mom is my best friend, so we get to spend time together and I’ll often help her with organizing and home projects.  I also like to spend time with my sister, my aunt, and my husband’s family.  Being around these people help me not feel so lonely while I’m missing my husband.

4. Accomplish Things You Don’t Normally Have Time For

When was the last time you organized your home or finished a home improvement project?  This could be the perfect time to get things done and surprise your spouse when they get home.  You’ll feel productive and time will fly by.

5. Talk and Text As Often As Possible

This is an obvious one, but staying in contact with your spouse while they’re away will definitely help you get through missing them.  My husband and I are always texting throughout the day and he calls me every night.  Sometimes I even get a picture of him from his tree stand!

                I understand this list may seem silly to some people, but that’s okay.  This is where I am in my life right now.  I’d also like to acknowledge that some people (like my in-laws) have had to go way longer without seeing each other.  Military families or people with jobs that require a lot of travel have to be strong to be able to handle being away from each other for that long.  I admire those in this situation because I don’t know how I would survive.  God must give them strength.  Anyway, I hope this helps you the next time you have to be away from your love!